|Top ten ways not to greet the responding officers|
1. “Yeah the music’s loud- what are you gonna do about it?”
2. Wearing a thong, holding a sword in one hand and a joint in the other.
3. “Hey tough guy, I called like an hour ago.”
4. Running away.
5. (Two man team, one black cop, one white cop) “Alright now who’s Crockett and who’s Tubbs.”
6. A makeshift billboard made out of bed sheets hung on front of residence of said complaint that reads “I PAY YOUR SALARY!”
8. A trained army of poop-throwing monkeys.
9. “Listen guys it’s not as bad as it looks. The blood on my shirt is from a paper cut and the body in the hallway is actually just a mannequin. I don’t know what my neighbor told you but that guy’s got in for me just because I’m a registered sex offender.
10. Hugs and kisses.