Top ten ways not to greet the responding officers E-mail

1. “Yeah the music’s loud- what are you gonna do about it?”

2. Wearing a thong, holding a sword in one hand and a joint in the other.

3. “Hey tough guy, I called like an hour ago.”

4. Running away.

5. (Two man team, one black cop, one white cop) “Alright now who’s Crockett and who’s Tubbs.”

6. A makeshift billboard made out of bed sheets hung on front of residence of said complaint that reads “I PAY YOUR SALARY!”

7. Gunfire.

8. A trained army of poop-throwing monkeys.

9. “Listen guys it’s not as bad as it looks. The blood on my shirt is from a paper cut and the body in the hallway is actually just a mannequin. I don’t know what my neighbor told you but that guy’s got in for me just because I’m a registered sex offender.

10. Hugs and kisses.

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