1. You have no citizen complaints in your file because they all died during the struggle.
2. It takes you twice as many drinks as shift-hours worked to unwind when the tour's over.
3. Everyone calls you "Hurricane Eddie."
4. You’ve been on the job two years and you’re on your eighth cruiser.
5. Your family sleeps in a treehouse in the backyard.
6. For some reason you are reading lots of books dealing with the construction of letter-bombs.
7. Crime rates in your patrol area mysteriously drop to zero during your working hours, while the baddest bad guys hide and whimper in their apartments.
8. You’re known as, "the guy who got into a fistfight with a Rottweiler and a pit bull."
9. Instead of counting to 10 when you get really mad, you have to count to 220,000.
10. Your evaluations suck, but somehow you're the only one the boss hasn't verbally assaulted over job performance.

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