1.Your agency just ordered 1,200 sets of “mini-cuffs.”
2.You grounded junior, and he cut the power lines to the house.
3.You just watched your neighbor’s daughter beat the crap out of the mailman on Youtube.
4.You asked your kid where he got the money for the drugs and he told you he cashed the check he got from the city during the gun buy-back.
5.There was a shooting at the Nickelodeon Awards.
6.You tried to give a friend’s kid a “time out” and he just served you with a restraining order.
7.Instead of the “birds and the bees” talk, you tell your kids about the dangers of mixing pills and booze.
8.Your bumper sticker says, “My kid’s on the honor roll at Riker’s Island.”
9.You’re sleeping in your body armor because you took the Playstation away.
10. When you see a group of pre-teen girls, you cross the street and hope for the best.