Top Ten
Top 10 Jose Canseco Tweets E-mail
1. A broken heart is knd of like a broken bat you can use it again but it will never be the same.

2. Lake house has no chandeleers and I need some. Any light company want to trade 2 or 3 for signed bat or any game worn piece of equipment.

3. Can any top executive from true tv please contact me asap about a reality tv show .I have a great idea.

4. And by the way I am completely steroid free but I have been testing some anti aging products for the last 3 years and wow they really work.

5. Life is funny I only have you guys to talk to on twitter and I appreciate the emotions and honesty.this is like therapy for me thanks.

6. I am and will always be just simply a basball player,my tomb stone will just say. Baseball.

7. 310 862 6309 haters can call me now and confront me ,where are the haters so far its been nice people,are you haters scared.

8. I need an attorney pro bono my lanlord evicted me and would not let me take my chandeleers with me ,need your help to get them back.

9. This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it Email for pricing and availability on spend a day with Jose!

10. Wake up bastards when I am on twitter u better listen bunch of followers and zombies.
 
Top 10 weird headlines of the month E-mail

1. Police: Man raped girl with his autistic teen son in car

2. Miami man fakes kidnapping to get a ride from police, authorities say

3. Man cited for DUI after striking stop sign at 5 mph

4. Thieves use forklift to steal wood stove

5. Fake cop pulls teen driver over, molests him

6. Woman says she was groped on Disney’s Tower of Terror

7. Central Kentucky Police looking for the Colonel (KFC)

8. Facebook dispute leads to shooting that critically wounds 2 men

9. Police accuse Colorado father of telling kids to bite officers

10. Cops: TSA worker tried to make 12-year-old a sex slave

 
Top 10 signs the new guy's got roid rage E-mail

1.After pummeling three linemen from Michigan during a traffic stop, he then went on to crush their SUV with his fists.

2. His skin’s worse than Manuel Noriega.

3. First bench-press set – 50 reps, 432 lbs.

4. He’s got two speeds, hysterical crying and blind violent rage.

5. His right arm is bigger in circumference than your waist.

6. He strangled a kitten because it looked at him wrong.

7. He won a fistfight with a utility pole.

8. He’s a big fan of the war on drugs but says he supports needle exchange programs.

9. He says Roger Clemens is an innocent victim.

10. His medicine cabinet’s a walk-in.

 
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