Top Ten
Top 10 weird headlines of the month E-mail

1. Police: Man raped girl with his autistic teen son in car

2. Miami man fakes kidnapping to get a ride from police, authorities say

3. Man cited for DUI after striking stop sign at 5 mph

4. Thieves use forklift to steal wood stove

5. Fake cop pulls teen driver over, molests him

6. Woman says she was groped on Disney’s Tower of Terror

7. Central Kentucky Police looking for the Colonel (KFC)

8. Facebook dispute leads to shooting that critically wounds 2 men

9. Police accuse Colorado father of telling kids to bite officers

10. Cops: TSA worker tried to make 12-year-old a sex slave

 
Top 10 signs the new guy's got roid rage E-mail

1.After pummeling three linemen from Michigan during a traffic stop, he then went on to crush their SUV with his fists.

2. His skin’s worse than Manuel Noriega.

3. First bench-press set – 50 reps, 432 lbs.

4. He’s got two speeds, hysterical crying and blind violent rage.

5. His right arm is bigger in circumference than your waist.

6. He strangled a kitten because it looked at him wrong.

7. He won a fistfight with a utility pole.

8. He’s a big fan of the war on drugs but says he supports needle exchange programs.

9. He says Roger Clemens is an innocent victim.

10. His medicine cabinet’s a walk-in.

 
Top Ten LE casualties of the recession E-mail

1. Take home cars

2. Regional drug task forces

3. Ratified contracts

4. Hiring

5. Interoperability/designated law enforcement channel on digital broadcast spectrum

6. In service training

7. Public alerts: Amber, silver or terrorist threat by color charts.

8. Caliber of new recruits

9. Fuel and maintenance funds for air support and mobile command centers

10. Less money, more work

 
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