American Police Beat

March 2008 Issue

Huh?
A Utah inmate has sued for the right to practice the Asatru religion behind bars. Michael Polk claims in his lawsuit that to observe his Norse religion properly, he needs a mead horn (made of wood and boar skin) for drinking wassail, a rune staff and a reasonable facsimile of Thor's hammer.

What?
An inmate who injured himself breaking out of a Colorado jail is suing on the grounds that guards should have done more to stop him escaping. Scott Gomez, Jr. claims he was badly injured when he fell 40 feet while attempting to scale down the outside wall of the Pueblo County jail. Gomez complains that prison officials did next to nothing to ensure that the jail was secure so he could not escape.

Jumper
Speaking of bogus lawsuits, another doozy comes from New York City, where a man who tried to jump off the Empire State Building with a parachute is suing the building's owners for $12 million, claiming they defamed him. Jeb Corliss tried to parachute from the top of the building, but was tackled and restrained by security guards and was charged with reckless endangerment. Corliss says he was defamed because there is no law against jumping off a skyscraper and that he was defamed when officials accused him of endangering the public.

Party

It was a wild blow-out in Antarctica this past holiday season when scientists working at a remote research station decided to tie one on. Reportedly, Santa Claus groped several women, a drunken staffer went on a wild ride in a four-wheel-drive vehicle, and allegedly drunken party-goers got in a fist fight that left one of the staffers with a broken jaw.

Sexy time

Many Americans, especially those with young kids, report that they just don't have enough time for sex. These reported low levels of libido have even alarmed sex therapists, who have been writing more frequently on the subject in their scholarly journals. Well, a new invention coming out of Missouri is not going to help matters. A company there has invented a bed with a built-in movie projector, surround sound, iPod clock,and Internet connection.