|Good for laughs|
|Written by APB Staff|
According to news reports, a Malaysian court has ordered two lovers to pay a fine of four buffaloes and a pig after they were found guilty of having an affair. The Star newspaper said that the Native Court in Penampang district on Borneo Island ruled that the man and woman must compensate their communities with the animals, valued at about 6,000 ringgit, (about $1,800 US), for the tryst. They were also fined 1,000 ringgit ($300) each. The man’s wife filed a complaint last year after finding her husband in shorts and her colleague in a sarong at the man’s second home. The court rejected their claim that they were just “best friends.”
In Lowell, Massachusetts, police say a lumber truck crashed into a home after the driver was knocked unconscious when he choked on chili from Wendy’s. According to the Lowell Police Department, Eric Gremm said he choked on the chili when the truck hit a bump, causing him to pass out. The flatbed truck went off the road and slammed into the foundation of the home. The 59-year-old was taken by ambulance to a local hospital for treatment of minor injuries. Police say he could be cited for eating while driving.
In Houston, fire department officials said an out-of-control inflatable gorilla was responsible for a rooftop blaze at a Houston shopping center. No injuries were reported in the incident. The remnants of the inflatable gorilla could be seen at the site of the blaze. District Chief Fred Hooker said some type of a “blowup doll” was on the roof, the item deflated and landed on some lights and caught fire. Fire authorities said two stores suffered minor water damage.
In Kansas, a Clark County undersheriff said he was just following his instincts when he found more than $1 million during what seemed like a routine traffic stop. Undersheriff Daniel Knowles stopped a vehicle recently on U.S. 54 just outside of Minneola and became suspicious of the driver. Knowles searched the car and found a hidden compartment with the money packed inside. He said the money smelled like marijuana. The total amount was $1,017,183. Paperwork has been filed with the Clark County Attorney’s office to begin the asset forfeiture process. The Drug Enforcement Agency is helping to investigate the incident.
In Colorado, prison officials say they’ve seen a lot of dumb ways to smuggle drugs inside to inmates, but this takes the cake. Pueblo County authorities said a 22-year-old woman worked out a plan with her boyfriend to get narcotics into jail through a courtroom exchange at her own sentencing hearing. Officials learned of the plot after the woman in jail, Felisha Trujillo, and her boyfriend talked about the plot on a monitored phone line. Phil Martinez, 26, allegedly dropped a bag of narcotics in the jury box before Trujillo’s hearing, when the courtroom was empty. But detectives were watching, and Martinez was arrested. Both Martinez and Trujillo now face drug and contraband charges.
A California school district that removed a dictionary from classrooms because it defined oral sex will now allow it back on the shelves. A committee of parents, teachers and administrators decided recently to permit fourth- and fifth-graders at Oak Meadows Elementary School in Menifee to use the notorious Merriam-Webster’s Collegiate Dictionary. However, parents can opt to have their kids use an alternative dictionary without naughty words. The Riverside County district has 9,000 students and pulled the reference book last week after a parent complained about a child stumbling across the oral sex definition. That led to cries of censorship. District policy called for setting up a committee to determine if the book was age-appropriate.
A three-year-old New Jersey boy called 911 when his grandmother had a seizure and just might have saved her life. The kid had just learned how to dial 911 just days before his grandmother’s seizure. Jaden Bolli was at his grandmother Patricia Bolli’s home in Maple Shade when the 54-year-old woman went to get out some puzzles and had a seizure. The boy quickly found a phone and dialed 911 for help, calmly describing what happened. Burlington County 911 Coordinator Monica Gavio said the call was very unusual. Usually, when a child that age dials 911 she says, it’s usually an accident. But Gavio said the kid was calm and collected and gave her all the information she needed to send help.
In Poland, a dog rescued from the Baltic Sea after braving a 75-mile journey on an ice floe is now hanging out with the crew of the Polish research ship which saved him, according to the ship’s captain. Jerzy Wosachlo, the captain of the Baltica, said the dog slept on a blanket in the ship’s laboratory, then shared a sausage breakfast with the crew after they grabbed him off a massive sheet of ice floating in the Baltic. Wosachlo said the dog often sticks close to the mechanic who saved him, but also has started moving around as he pleases, enjoying the company of others on the ship.“We have enrolled him as a crew member,” Wosachlo said. Nicknamed “Baltic,” the friendly dog will continue in that capacity unless his owner is found, the captain said.
In Illinois, a Roman Catholic priest was accused of shoplifting butter and a sofa cover at a Walmart recently. Police arrested 41-year-old Rev. Steven Poole after receiving a call from store employees. He’s charged with two felony theft counts. Investigators say Poole failed to scan a $3.22 container of butter and a $60 sofa cover at a self-checkout. Poole then allegedly went to the store’s bedding section, picked up a memory foam mattress and switched the pricing bar code with another item. That caused the $145 mattress to be scanned for $31. Allegedly, Poole also possessed a stolen laptop computer power pack.