Right to carry

As president of the Seattle Police Officer's Guild, I would like to bring to your attention a situation which has impacted one of our officers and has the potential to affect the safety of all law enforcement officers throughout the nation. On August 9, 2008 Seattle Police Detective Ron Smith was vacationing in Sturgis, South Dakota with members of a fraternal law enforcement motorcycle club. Detective Smith was attacked by a member of the Hell's Angels Motorcycle Gang in what South Dakota authorities described as a "violent and premeditated" incident.

1. Hear ye, hear ye:

2. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times

3. What it do players? Here’s the deal:

4. From the desk of the world’s greatest cop

5. Four score and seven years ago…

6. Will whoever took my red stapler please return it ASAP.

7. Dear Mom:

8. I was pretty wasted, so don’t put too much stock in the details of the following incident report.

9. He ran, I chased…yadda, yadda, yadda…

10. There once was a perp from Nantucket.

1. You get winded if you change the channels fast.

2. You haven’t been able to see your own feet while standing since 1987.

3. Your time in the 40-yard dash is 27 seconds.

4.Taco Bell sends you “Thank you” notes.

5.There is no combination of bread and cheese that you wouldn’t kill a man for.

6. You and your patrol partner are the same height, but when you’re both in the cruiser, she appears to be a foot taller because of the vehicle’s tilt due to the weight differential.

7. The last time you worked out, people were talking about this new thing called “aerobics.”

8. If you add your blood pressure reading to your cholesterol count you get a number between seven and eight hundred... thousand.

9. You get dizzy getting out of the car.

10. You think vegetables qualify as cruel and unusual punishment, which you are sworn to help prevent.

At some point in everyone’s life an inevitable truth becomes a reality. In my case, it was the recent realization that I have celebrated most of my birthdays, and probably don’t have all that many left to come. The many years I’ve spent doing athletic activities and police work have taken a toll on my body – my lower back is racked with arthritis and it takes me at least two hours every morning to reach the point where I can stand up straight; my rotator cuff is shot; two knee operations, and the subsequent arthritis, has made running an impossibility; and a torn Achilles tendon has further limited my mobility.

Frustrated I’m a deputy in a small Sheriff’s Office in South Dakota. I have read other letters from officers with a similar problem, so I know I am not the only one with this problem. I have a great boss, but the problem is with the second in command; he has no officer safety skills, he is lazy, he is not totally honest. The last straw for me was when I heard he ignored a backup call while a state trooper and game warden responded. He stayed in the local convenience store. We are not a 24-hour operation, so after a certain time we are on-call. This deputy has failed to get his butt out of bed and respond to calls. I have been tempted to ask the sheriff what type of calls are we supposed to get out of bed for. Recently this deputy shaving-creamed another officer’s car; he said it was a practical joke. The sheriff calls him his “minister of presence” while the rest of us (including other agencies who work closely with our office) call him worthless. I know if I get hurt or even worse because of this deputy, either myself or my family will own this county!

– Frustrated in South Dakota

As a police officer, I was slightly heartened to learn that the recent march in our city, Omaha, Nebraska, organized by the Omahans for Justice Alliance, focused on their disagreements not only with the Omaha Police Department, but also on their concern for the rising tide of gang violence in our community. It would appear that certain activists have come to the realization that one tends to lose credibility with the rest of the community when the police are depicted as an even greater threat to the community than the droves of armed thugs who prey on our city and citizens daily.

1. “Yeah the music’s loud- what are you gonna do about it?”

2. Wearing a thong, holding a sword in one hand and a joint in the other.

3. “Hey tough guy, I called like an hour ago.”

4. Running away.

5. (Two man team, one black cop, one white cop) “Alright now who’s Crockett and who’s Tubbs.”

6. A makeshift billboard made out of bed sheets hung on front of residence of said complaint that reads “I PAY YOUR SALARY!”

7. Gunfire.

8. A trained army of poop-throwing monkeys.

9. “Listen guys it’s not as bad as it looks. The blood on my shirt is from a paper cut and the body in the hallway is actually just a mannequin. I don’t know what my neighbor told you but that guy’s got in for me just because I’m a registered sex offender.

10. Hugs and kisses.

1. They’re going to borrow half the pension fund to pay for next year’s snow removal.

2. Local P.D. to be merged with EMS, Fire, Parks, and DPW. Hopefully someone with overdue books committing a crime on trash day will have a heart attack and you can score the elusive “trifecta!”

3. “Let’s just forget about that last contract, OK? I don’t know what we were thinking giving you guys a cost of living increase.”

5. Instead of the communications upgrade for your agency, the city has decided to buy every cop five minutes a month on his or her cell phone.

6. New policy – gas can only be used while responding to calls. If you’re on patrol, find a hill, coast and hope the bad guys can’t afford fuel either.

7. Taser purchase put on hold. Report to the duty sergeant to pick up palm-held joy buzzers.

8. The new health plan is from a provider called Wal-Mart.

9. Thursday is ‘Bring Your Own Toilet Paper Day.’

10. They’re not sure about anything specific. But they do know the money is coming out of your pocket.

Maryland State Police didn’t do their homework before they started spying on peace activists and anti-death-penalty groups. If the amateur spymasters had read up on their Maryland law enforcement history before launching this escapade, they might have had a good laugh and learned a thing or two.

Fighting for our lives

The Vallejo Police Officers Association in California is in a fight for its life, and your  association may be next if the City of Vallejo can use bankruptcy to break our labor contract. We need your help to tackle this unprecedented assault on public employees. On May 23, 2008 the City of Vallejo filed for bankruptcy protection and shortly  afterwards filed a motion to nullify their collective bargaining agreements with all of their employee unions despite the fact that Vallejo is not bankrupt, has cash available to meet all its obligations, and is meeting its obligations to everyone except its employees and retirees. Vallejo blames their financial problems on the cost of wages and benefits, but that's not true.