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A reason not to get drunk?
A man is in a pub (bar for you colonials) at closing time. He finishes his drink and tries to stand up and falls flat on his face. Thinking fresh air will help, he crawls out the door and tries to stand, but falls flat on his face.
He crawls along the road, trying several times to stand, but falling flat on his face everytime.
Eventually he crawls all the way home. On reaching his front door, he tries to stand but falls flat on his face. Managing to open the door, he crawls up the stairs and onto his bed.
In the morning his wife says "You were drunk again last night!"
He says " What makes you think that?"
She says, " The pub phoned. You left your wheelchair there again!"
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To be born an Englishman, is to be a winner in the Lottery of Life.
I've Talked the Talk and I've Walked the Walk, now I Sit the Sit!
It's not until you look at an Ant through a magnifying glass on a sunny day, that you realise just how often they burst into flames for no reason!
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