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  #1  
Old 01-17-07, 09:31 PM
markw76's Avatar
Guy behind the mic
 
Join Date: 11-29-06
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 115
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Purina Diet

> I was in a supermarket buying a large bag of Purina
> for the dog and got in line to check out.
>
> A woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
>
> I was feeling a bit playful so on impulse, I told her no, I was
> starting The Purina Diet again. I added that I probably
> shouldn't do this because even though I had list 50 pounds
> the last time, I had wound up in intensive care with tubes coming
> out of everywhere and IV's in both arms.
>
> Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the
> story. She was totally buying it.
>
> I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it
> works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and
> simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The Purina
> package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to
> try it again.
>
> Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me
> and was that why I ended up in the hospital?
>
> I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my butt and two
> cars ran off the road and a third one hit me.
>
> I thought the lady was going to have a syncopal episode.
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"Government is not reason, it is not eloquence, it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master. Never for a moment should it be left to irresponsible actions." ~ George Washington.

A Dead Enemy Is A Peaceful Enemy - Blessed Be The Peacemakers.

Last edited by markw76; 01-17-07 at 09:37 PM..
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  #2  
Old 01-17-07, 09:35 PM
Jenna's Avatar
sheep
 
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This sounds distressingly similar to BEK's story.

http://www.officerresource.com/...ad.php?t=12139

Awww, now I'm totally disillusioned--I thought BEK was talking about something he actually did! Does he not even have a dog named Lola?
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  #3  
Old 01-17-07, 09:40 PM
markw76's Avatar
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Join Date: 11-29-06
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Well, I just got it in my email...at least I put mine in the joke thread...oh, he did too. You're easy, aren't you?
__________________
"Government is not reason, it is not eloquence, it is force. Like fire, it is a dangerous servant and a fearful master. Never for a moment should it be left to irresponsible actions." ~ George Washington.

A Dead Enemy Is A Peaceful Enemy - Blessed Be The Peacemakers.
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  #4  
Old 01-17-07, 10:26 PM
Jackalope's Avatar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by markw76 View Post
You're easy, aren't you?
Now THAT'S funny!

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"I'm not a coward,
I've just never been tested
I'd like to think that if I was,
I would pass"
~Mighty Mighty Bosstones~
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