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01-16-07, 06:58 PM
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Lieutenant
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Verified LEO
Join Date: 01-02-06
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 2,094
Rep Power: 3379469
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just for laughs
I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog, Lola, and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog......Duh! I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her NO. I was starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. Her eyes about bugged out of her head. I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again. I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her. horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital? I said no.....I'd been sitting in the middle of the street licking my butt when a car hit me. I thought the tall guy was going to need to be carried out of the door.
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01-16-07, 07:07 PM
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BANNED
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Join Date: 12-03-05
Location: None of your business
Posts: 16,064
Rep Power: 0
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.....that was SOOOO something I would do! Awesome!
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01-16-07, 07:58 PM
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Former & Future Reserve Officer
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Join Date: 12-29-05
Location: Dallas Area
Posts: 5,528
Rep Power: 3224836
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"Here's your sign!!!!"
I could never keep a straight face long enough to get to the punch line if I ever tried that on someone!!!
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(\__/)
(='.'=) This is Bunny. Copy and paste Bunny into your
(")_(") signature to help him gain world domination.
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01-16-07, 08:02 PM
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Who?......Me?
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Join Date: 06-07-06
Location: Ca
Posts: 2,403
Rep Power: 470081
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OMG, how frickin funny!! Some people are so gullible!
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**********************
~Karie
"I used to care
but now I take a pill for that"
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01-16-07, 08:03 PM
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Grasshopper
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Verified LEO
Join Date: 05-16-06
Location: NC
Posts: 3,387
Rep Power: 3882758
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Perfect. Proud of you, man. Maybe she will think twice before giving one of the stupid conversation starter lines.
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And Shepards we shall be,
for thee, My Lord, for thee,
Power hath descended forth from Thy hand,
That our feet may swiftly carry out Thy Command.
So we shall flow a river forth to Thee
And teeming with souls will it ever be.
In Nomine Patris, Et Filli, Et Spiritus Sancti.
Reca is the moldiest thing since Sliced Bread! He is also wishes he were my daddy
Reca worships the ground I walk on!
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01-16-07, 08:07 PM
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Up all night
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Join Date: 11-21-06
Location: North star state
Posts: 239
Rep Power: 23994
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__________________
The statements and opinions made here are of Copper51's only. They do not reflect my department or the city I work for.
So lay off, I'm offduty and spouting off.   
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01-16-07, 08:09 PM
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Member
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Join Date: 02-19-06
Posts: 1,361
Rep Power: 513223
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Your bad!!!
Very funny!
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A Smile
A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.
It enriches those who receive it, without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.
None is so rich or mighty that he can get along without it, and none is so poor but that he can be made rich by it.
A smile creates happiness in the home, fosters goodwill in business, and is the countersign of friendship.
It brings rest to the weary, cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.
Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away.
Some people are too tired to give you a smile. Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give.
- author unknown
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01-16-07, 08:09 PM
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Moderator
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Premium Lifetime Member
Verified LEO
Site Moderator
Join Date: 12-04-05
Location: Minnesota
Posts: 8,707
Rep Power: 5860085
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Thats awesome. hahahahahahahhahaaa 
__________________
No one has greater love than this, to lay down ones life for ones friends - John 15:13
"The Wicked Flee When No Man Pursueth: But The Righteous Are Bold As A Lion".
We lucky few, we band of brothers. For he who today sheds his blood with me shall be my brother.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ ~~~ The opinions, beliefs, and ideas expressed in this post are mine, and mine alone. They are NOT the opinions, beliefs, ideas, or policies of my Agency, Police Chief, City Council, or any member of my department.
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01-16-07, 08:12 PM
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Up all night
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Join Date: 11-21-06
Location: North star state
Posts: 239
Rep Power: 23994
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Tried giving rep but I got this message, "You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to BEK320 again." I tried.
__________________
The statements and opinions made here are of Copper51's only. They do not reflect my department or the city I work for.
So lay off, I'm offduty and spouting off.
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01-16-07, 08:14 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: 04-14-06
Location: Council Bluffs, Iowa
Posts: 2,005
Rep Power: 0
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I HATE Wal-Mart with a passion, but I would have overlooked that fact just to see the tall guys reaction.
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01-16-07, 08:16 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: 04-14-06
Location: Council Bluffs, Iowa
Posts: 2,005
Rep Power: 0
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Copper51
Tried giving rep but I got this message, "You must spread some Reputation around before giving it to BEK320 again." I tried. |
Taken care of Copper51!
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01-16-07, 08:21 PM
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Master Officer
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Supporting Member Lvl 1
Join Date: 04-16-06
Location: UK
Posts: 1,353
Rep Power: 2919714
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OMG that is so funny!
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Never approach a bull by the front, a horse from behind, or an idiot from any direction.
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01-16-07, 08:21 PM
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Major
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Join Date: 12-05-05
Location: Bismarck, ND
Posts: 3,112
Rep Power: 7715083
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Bwahahahah that is awesome!! Expect rep when I can give it to you again!!
I hate lines, a couple years ago before I turned 18 I tried to buy spray paint at Wal-mart for a project, and of course I couldn't because I wasn't old enough. This old cranky lady was behind me and decided it would be appropriate to project her input when the lady said I wasn't old enough to buy it and says rudely, "hmm wonder what you were going to use that for?" and I looked straight at her and said "I'm not going to lie I was going to huff it, that's why my parents won't buy it for me anymore." By the look on her face and how pale she got I thought I had killed her. Then I walked away. She's probably dead now, I should feel bad.
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There’s a promise I need you to make
While I’m gone you take care of the love
And I’ll deal with the hate.
Don’t worry about me; I’ll be all right
Just care for your children and sleep tight
I’ll keep you safe on my watch tonight
~
On My Watch Tonight - Mike Corrado
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01-17-07, 02:14 PM
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*insert witty remark here*
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Join Date: 01-02-06
Location: Mandan, ND
Posts: 2,524
Rep Power: 1859770
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Nice stories both Ben and Autumn  Funny
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Alpha Phi Sigma Alum - Alpha Delta Chapter
ΑΦΣ
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01-17-07, 05:43 PM
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Bendy not Breaky
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Join Date: 04-26-06
Location: San Diego
Posts: 6,177
Rep Power: 1401223
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But.....
do you have a dog???
__________________
Molly Weasley makes Chuck Norris eat his vegetables.
Do not puff, shade, skew, tailor, firm up, stretch, massage,
or otherwise distort statements of fact. FBI Special Agent Coleen Rowley
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01-19-07, 07:06 PM
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Major
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Supporting Member Lvl 3
Verified LEO
Join Date: 09-24-06
Location: Delaware
Posts: 5,924
Rep Power: 200284
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Hahahahaha that sounds like something my father would do.
I'll never forget, when I was younger he had deer meat for dinner one night. (I forget the name for it) Anyway, the next day we went out Christmas tree hunting. Well to our amusement he was galloping around the tree farm all damn morning acting like a deer...
__________________
Calm Like A Bomb...
“A pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity. An optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.”
-Winston Churchill
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