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FDA Labels for Beer
The FDA is considering some additional new warnings on beer and alcohol bottles, here are a few:
12. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
11. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to SMASH YOUR HEAD IN.
10. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.
9. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
8. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what happened to your pants.
7. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).
6. WARNING: consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
5. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Chuck.
4. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
3. WARNING: consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause an influx in the time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear".
1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
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A Smile
A smile cost nothing, but gives so much.
It enriches those who receive it, without making poorer those who give. It takes but a moment, but the memory of it sometimes lasts forever.
None is so rich or mighty that he can get along without it, and none is so poor but that he can be made rich by it.
A smile creates happiness in the home, fosters goodwill in business, and is the countersign of friendship.
It brings rest to the weary, cheer to the discouraged, sunshine to the sad, and it is nature's best antidote for trouble.
Yet it cannot be bought, begged, borrowed, or stolen, for it is something that is of no value to anyone until it is given away.
Some people are too tired to give you a smile. Give them one of yours, as none needs a smile so much as he who has no more to give.
- author unknown
Last edited by Roses; 01-24-07 at 08:37 AM..
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