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  #1  
Old 05-12-07, 12:08 AM
suncrafter's Avatar
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Bad-Ass Quotient System (measure someone's bad-assness)

I love it when people have "who would win in a fight" conversations. You know the kind - "Who would win in a fight between Robocop and the Terminator?" or "Who would win a fight between Peewee Herman and Gilligan?" Etc...

But something that is always laking in those conversations is a proper, quantifiable, measurement of how much of a "bad-ass" someone or something is.

Toward that end - here is my BAQ (Bad Ass Quotient) System:

Fire Ant ---------------------------------------------------- BAQ = 1
Sewer Rat ------------------------------------------------ BAQ = 10
Chiwawa --------------------------------------------------- BAQ = 100
Drunk Redneck armed with a pool cue -------- BAQ = 1,000
Green Beret armed with a machete ------------ BAQ = 10,000
Silverback Gorilla ------------------------------------- BAQ = 100,000
Black Rhino -------------------------------------------- BAQ = 1,000,000
Tyrannosaurus Rex ---------------------------------- BAQ = 10,000,000

It would take about 10 fire ants to evenly fight 1 sewer rat.
It would take about 10 sewer rats to evenly fight 1 Chiwawa.
It would take about 10 Chiwawas to evenly fight 1 drunk redneck armed with a pool cue.
ETC...

Now we have a scale on which we can use to measure the "Bad-assness" of almost anyone or anything!

Here are just a few examples (the compleate list can be found here http://www.normandcompany.com/INDEX/BAQ.html):

Butterfly ============================== =================== 0 BAQ
Fire Ant ------------------------------------------------------------- 1 BAQ
Wasp ============================== ===================== 3 BAQ
Gerbil ============================== ===================== 5 BAQ
Tarantula ============================== =================== 7 BAQ
Sewer Rat ---------------------------------------------------------- 10 BAQ
Rabbit ============================== ==================== 35 BAQ
Vampire Bat ============================== ================ 49 BAQ
House Cat ============================== ================== 88 BAQ
Lobster ============================== ==================== 90 BAQ
Chiwawa ----------------------------------------------------------- 100 BAQ
Rooster (armed with cock-fighting spurs) ========================== 102 BAQ
Possum ============================== ==================== 287 BAQ
Munchkin - from "Wizard of Oz" ============================== === 289 BAQ
Gilligan ============================== ===================== 306 BAQ
Oompa Loompa - from "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory" ============== 308 BAQ
Barn Owl ============================== ==================== 421 BAQ
Peewee Herman ============================== =============== 422 BAQ
3PCO - from "Star Wars" ============================== ========= 449 BAQ
Crack Whore ============================== ================== 550 BAQ
Zombie ============================== ====================== 749 BAQ
Woopi Goldburge ============================== =============== 831 BAQ
Howard Stern ============================== ================== 852 BAQ
Hawkeye Pierce - from the tv show "M.A.S.H." ======================== 856 BAQ
Rush Limbaugh ============================== ================= 998 BAQ
Drunk Redneck armed with a pool cue ---------------------- 1,000 BAQ
George W. Bush ============================== =============== 1,105 BAQ
Ferris Bueller - from "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" ========================= 1,290 BAQ
Jeffrey Dahmer ============================== ================= 1,301 BAQ
Tiger Woods (armed with golf club) ============================== === 1,439 BAQ
Jack Sparrow - from "Pirates of the Caribbean" (unarmed) ================= 1,685 BAQ
Gremlin - from the movie "Gremlins" ============================== == 1,696 BAQ
Stalin ============================== ======================== 1,985 BAQ
Pimp ============================== ======================== 1,990 BAQ
Wolf ============================== ========================= 2,144 BAQ
Boa Constrictor ============================== ================= 2,312 BAQ
OJ Simpson (with glove and knife) ============================== ===== 3,100 BAQ
Virgil Tibbs - from "In the Heat of the Night" ============================= 3,148 BAQ
Wolverine - the animal ============================== ============== 3,345 BAQ
Tony Montana - from "Scarface" (unarmed) ============================= 3,507 BAQ
R2D2 - from "Star Wars" ============================== ============ 3,965 BAQ
Matador (armed with red cape and lance) ============================== 3,989 BAQ
Snake Plissken from "Escape from New York" (unarmed) ================== 6,010 BAQ
Hannibal Lector ============================== ================== 6,047 BAQ
Orc Soldier - from "Lord of the Rings" (armed with sword) =================== 7,093 BAQ
Sumo Wrestler ============================== =================== 7,810 BAQ
New York City Fire Fighter (armed with ax) ============================= 7,896 BAQ
Mike Tyson ============================== ===================== 7,961 BAQ
Rocky Balboa - from the movie "Rocky" ============================== = 8,501 BAQ
B.A. Baracus - from the "A-Team" (unarmed) =========================== 8,627 BAQ
Chuck Norris ============================== ==================== 8,812 BAQ
Green Beret armed with a machete ------------------------- 10,000 BAQ
Jackie Chan ============================== ==================== 12,791 BAQ
L.A. Cop (armed) ============================== ================ 15,480 BAQ
Alligator ============================== ====================== 16,812 BAQ
Chewbacca - from "Star Wars" (unarmed) ============================ 19,947 BAQ
Rambo (armed with his knife) ============================== ======= 19,990 BAQ
Jack Sparrow - from "Pirates of the Caribbean" (armed with sword and musket) = 20,005 BAQ
"7 of 9" - from "Star Trek" (unarmed) ============================== == 21,947 BAQ
Harry Callahan - from "Dirty Harry" (armed)======================= ===== 22,110 BAQ
Worf - from "Star Trek" (unarmed) ============================== ==== 31,014 BAQ
Zbigniew Krycsiwiki AKA "Jaws" - henchman/villan from James Bond movies === 40,801 BAQ
Elf (armed with sword) ============================== ============ 42,260 BAQ
Lion ============================== ========================= 48,585 BAQ
Conan the Barbarian (armed with sword) ============================= 52,026 BAQ
Borg Drone - from "Star Trek" ============================== ======= 68,992 BAQ
Worf - from "Star Trek" (armed with Batleth) =========================== 71,004 BAQ
Vampire ============================== ====================== 79,323 BAQ
Medieval Knight (full armor, on horseback, armed with sword and sheald) ====== 81,150 BAQ
Jason - from "Friday the 13th" (armed with machete) ==================== 91,313 BAQ
Phoenix - from Greek mythology ============================== ==== 98,200 BAQ
Silverback Gorilla -------------------------------------- 100,000 BAQ
bull ============================== ========================= 101,693 BAQ
Indiana Jones (armed with his whip & gun) =========================== 101,771 BAQ
Robocop (armed) ============================== =============== 120,100 BAQ
James Bond (armed with his gun) ============================== === 131,007 BAQ
Tony Montana - from "Scarface" (armed with his "little friend") ============= 150,507 BAQ
Raptor ============================== ======================= 152,560 BAQ
Chimera - from Greek mythology ============================== ==== 189,324 BAQ
Green Beret (armed with AK47) ============================== ===== 190,221 BAQ
Alien - from the movie "Aliens" ============================== ====== 203,331 BAQ
B.A. Baracus - from the "A-Team" (armed with AK47) =================== 203,627 BAQ
Rambo (armed with AK47 and his knife) ============================= 220,603 BAQ
Colonial Marine - from the movie "Aliens" (with pulse rifle/grenade launcher) ==== 290,320 BAQ
Wonder Woman (armed with lasso and bracelets) ====================== 291,239 BAQ
Darth Vader (unarmed) ============================== =========== 292,405 BAQ
Predator - from the movie "Predator" (armed) ========================== 309,811 BAQ
Black Rhino --------------------------------------- 1,000,000 BAQ
Boba Fett - From "Star Wars" (armed) ============================== = 1,000,059 BAQ
Vasquez - Colonial Marine from the movie "Aliens" (armed with "Smart Gun") === 1,005,622 BAQ
Darth Vader (armed with light saber) ============================== == 1,703,405 BAQ
Graboid - from the movie "Tremors" ============================== === 2,164,403 BAQ
Ellephant ============================== ===================== 3,064,416 BAQ
Oliphaunt ============================== ===================== 9,193,248 BAQ
Clifford the Big Red Dog ============================== =========== 9,224,710 BAQ
Tyrannosaurus Rex ----------------------------------- 10,000,000 BAQ
Incredible Hulk ============================== ================ 10,005,106 BAQ
Magneto - from X-men movie ============================== ====== 12,200,943 BAQ
Giant - from "Jack and the Bean Stalk" ============================ 22,001,274 BAQ
King Kong ============================== =================== 90,567,890 BAQ
Smaug - the dragon from "The Hobbit" ============================ 101,020,680 BAQ
Godzilla ============================== ==================== 101,052,302 BAQ
Kraken - from "Clash of the Titans" ============================== = 120,425,300 BAQ
Zeus - king of the Greek gods ============================== === 2,009,907,329 BAQ

You can find the whole list here:
http://www.normandcompany.com/INDEX/BAQ.html




Questions for all of you...

1) What do you think your own BAQ is? (Be honest.)
2) Who or what should I add to the above list.
3) Do you think I have too much time on my hands?
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  #2  
Old 05-12-07, 02:57 AM
Operator13's Avatar
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Chuck Norris ============================== ==================== 8,812 BAQ

Obvious mistake. Chuck should have a BAQ of at least 101,052,303!
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  #3  
Old 05-12-07, 03:20 AM
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#1)My BAQ= Aphrodite=========3,900,265,32 9 BAQ
(Yep! That's right! LOL )
#2)You should add me!
#3)And yes...you may have a little more time on your hands than I do. But it looks like you have fun with it so that's ok! LOL
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  #4  
Old 05-12-07, 11:00 AM
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What the hell is a Chiwawa??
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  #5  
Old 05-12-07, 11:20 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jmur5074 View Post
What the hell is a Chiwawa??
I'd guess a Chihuahua, but there's no way in hell one chihuahua could take on 10 sewer rats. 3 or 4 MAYBE, but not ten.

My rating is top secret.
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  #6  
Old 07-15-07, 10:23 PM
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I've updated my "Bad-Ass Quotient" list! Unfortunetly the list is now too large to post here...
So if you want to see the NEW list, you will need to visit: http://www.normandcompany.com/INDEX/BAQ.html

Here are just a few of the 100 or so people/things that I added to the list:

Goose ============================== ============================== 205 BAQ
Triumph - the insult comic dog ============================== ===== 311 BAQ
Mahatma Gandhi ============================== ===================== 409 BAQ
Mr. Noodle ============================== ========================= 411 BAQ
Stephanie - from "Lazy Town" ============================== ====== 498 BAQ
"Bogeyman" ============================== ========================= 500 BAQ
Paris Hilton ============================== ======================= 565 BAQ
Sarah Silverman ============================== ================== 1,091 BAQ
Al Franken ============================== ======================= 1,155 BAQ
Charlie Chaplin ============================== ================== 2,585 BAQ
Xenia Onatopp - from "GoldenEye" ============================== 6,022 BAQ
Kira Nerys - from "Star Trek" ============================== ==== 6,040 BAQ
Genghis Khan (armed with spear, club and fuzzy hat) =========== 19,549 BAQ
Captain America (armed with his shield) ===================== 44,966 BAQ
Alyx Vance - from "Half-Life 2" (armed with pistol & shotgun)= 290,967 BAQ
Rancor - monster from "Return of the Jedi" ================ 13,909,786 BAQ
Mothra ============================== ===================== 115,537,207 BAQ
Superman ============================== ================= 1,002,065,711 BAQ

Like I said, the whole list (all 259) can be found here:
http://www.normandcompany.com/INDEX/BAQ.html

Who or what else should I add to the list?
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  #7  
Old 07-15-07, 11:05 PM
The Reason People Hate Cops & Causer of War
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Operator13 View Post
Chuck Norris ============================== ==================== 8,812 BAQ

Obvious mistake. Chuck should have a BAQ of at least 101,052,303!
Obviously -- this omits Chuck's beard.

Chuck's beard alone would have a BAQ well of 200,000,000!
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  #8  
Old 07-15-07, 11:11 PM
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dude... you have way too much time on your hands...

or is this what guys spend time thinking up in the bathroom!

lol
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We dallied under
Vine maples and sapling alders
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Desiccated branches

An old skid road
Brought ghost ferns and
Hollows filled with
Skunk cabbage
While waves wrapped
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His cyanotic eyes
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The sun turn tail and
Tender enough to attract me
To his world of illusion
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  #9  
Old 07-15-07, 11:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gozling View Post
dude... you have way too much time on your hands...

or is this what guys spend time thinking up in the bathroom!

lol
+2,388,394,977,000 on the list....
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  #10  
Old 07-16-07, 12:10 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gozling View Post
. . . . or is this what guys spend time thinking up in the bathroom!

lol
True, he does have too much free time and to answer your question gozling ~ Yes ~ ~ What? You think we only read in there???
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  #11  
Old 07-29-07, 07:39 AM
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Tony! You guys can read too???????? I thought ya'll only looked at the pictures.
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  #12  
Old 09-29-07, 03:30 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mack View Post
Tony! You guys can read too???????? I thought ya'll only looked at the pictures.
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