10 Signs you're dangerously out of shape E-mail
Written by Mark Nichols   

1. If you lose 125 lbs. By Thanksgiving, you’ll be 30 percent closer to what the chart says you should weigh.
2. The last time you worked out people were talking about last night’s episode of Friends at the water cooler.
3. Your idea of health food is Paula Deen’s Butter, Bacon and Cheddar Salad with a bowl of gravy on the side for the chili cheese fries.

4.  Doctor does a full face-palm after he checks your weight and height during physical.

5. You pulled a muscle trying to make a sharp right in your personal vehicle.

6. You were sure you and your spouse were into rough sex. It turns out you were both just fighting for bottom.

7. It seems impossible but your gut has a gut.

8. Hey bro- cool shoes! Where’d you get them?
“I don’t know.”
You don’t know where you bought them?
“I can’t see them unless I sit down.”

9. Fitness guru? Steven Seagal.

10. You stopped masturbating because you kept getting winded.

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